In Between The Raindrops - Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Wake up, Niya!"s brother Rehan shouted as he pulled back the curtains in her room.

"Ugh. I'm awake, at least leave my curtains alone." Anayas irritated reply came from underneath the covers.

"You've been in the dark for too long." He softly whispered as he walked towards her bed and sat down on the edge.

"Can we not do this again?" Anaya sighed, pulling off her blanket.

"Sorry." Rehan said, grabbing her hand. "You don't have to go back there, we can go get you into another university." He begged as he looked into her empty eyes.

"Rehan..." Anaya sighed. "I'm on a scholarship at NST. There are nights when you and I cant even afford dinner, how are we going to afford a new university that won't give me a scholarship?"

"Niya...We can make it work."

"No. Its okay. Dad would have wanted us to be happy and we will be happy one day." She smiled up at her big brother, noticing the bags under his eyes and the premature wrinkles on his forehead.

"I wish he was here." Rehan choked and buried his face in his hands.

"I should go" Anaya whispered, looking down at her own hands.

'Yeah. Yeah. You need me to walk you there?" He asked as he stood up.

"No, I need to do this alone." Came her reply.

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Anaya fumbled through her hang bag as she neared the gate of her university. She couldnt help but sigh out of frustration and slow her pace down. The negative thoughts that had gnawed at her soul throughout the previous night were more persistent now. There was a constant thought nudging at the back of her mind, beckoning to her that she wouldnt be able to stay strong today. She could feel her walls tumbling down and realizing she could not be as strong as she had hoped to be. She could feel her new found pessimism suffocating her but she knew there was no turning back and all she could do was take a deep breathe and walk through those gates with her head held high.

Finally managing to regain her composure, she managed to dig out her I.D card and showed it to the watchman. The moment she walked through those gates, a gust of fear engulfed her. Every step she took, every inch she came closer, she could feel her heart race and she could feel her thoughts get stronger and stronger. As she walked towards her first period class, she could feel sudden glances and glares coming her way. She felt like she could her the judgments being passed about her and the longer she stayed in their presence, the harder it became for her to hold her head high.

In a desperate attempt to find some peace, she increased her pace and took a sigh of relief when she finally reached her first period Psychology Classroom twenty minutes early. She lingered towards the windows of that dark, empty room in time to see the rain silently begin to dance along the window sill. Instantly, the shadows that clouded her mind had disappeared. The rain had a magical affect on her, in some ways it could take away the feelings of uneasiness she often harbored.

Anaya glided over to a seat near the window, plopped down on the chair, hugged her legs and began to lose herself in thoughts of what could have been.  It seemed all Anaya had done for the last three months was be submerged in these very thoughts and some days, reality did not seem so real to her. In fact, hardly anything ever seemed real and it was all like a nightmare that she should have awoken from a long time ago. She was numb and was used to it, she had accepted it. She knew she had been numb for far too long and nothing could bring her the old her back. She knew her fate was set in stone.

As she sat there in the empty classroom, images of her friends danced around her head. They had cut off all ties with her during the summer but deep down inside she knew all too well they would confront her today. How could they not after all she had done? She knew what they would say but she was sure as anything that she wasn’t ready for another battle waged against.

It was rare for Anaya to get frustrated with her thoughts. Usually she could sit in idle thoughts for moments at a time but today was different. Today she had a date with reality and today she couldn’t hide away in her thoughts. Sighing, she put her feet down and opened her clenched eyes only to lose her breath at the sight before her. In confusion she stared at the unknown face of the figure that stood before her, so unfamiliar yet ever aspect, every detail captivated her. She sat there unable to move, just staring at this sculpture that seemed unlike anything she had ever seen before. For the first time in months, her mind was blank. No thoughts ran wild across her mind. All she could do was lose herself in the trance of this creatures eyes.

It seemed without her permission her eyes darted from his black hair that shown like a summer night to his light brown eyes that glittered like all the stars she spent the summer  counting. He wore the same uniform hundreds of other boys at her school wore but he, he wore it different. He looked different. Who was this creature that stood before her looking into her  soul she thought. Never had she felt this. She wanted to look away, every part of her body ached to look away but she couldn’t. She was hypnotized. 

Suddenly, her trance was broken as Mrs. Hamid walked in the door from behind this strange boy.

“You two are early” Mrs.Hamid softly spoke and smiled as she motioned for the boy to take seat.

The boy, looked at the teacher, nodded and took a seat as far away as he could from the girl by the window. Who was she, he wondered. He closed his eyes and sighed. Through his shut eyes, he could see the image of the girl. He could see her sitting by the window with clenched eyes, lost in her thoughts. He could see her every detail. It was like she was tattooed inside his eye lids and he didn’t mind. He found himself smiling at this strange realization. It was in that moment that he realized how desperately he truly missed his smile.

This girl, without saying a word to him had caused a smile to be born on his lips. Saif had made up his mind. He had to know her, he had no other choice. He had to know her.

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Dear Diary,

 I can not do this. I thought I could but now, it is clear that I can not. I am too weak to walk down these halls. I can feel the stares piercing the back of my skull. All anyone has done today is stare at me like I was animal at a petting zoo. I feel alone now more than I have in the last three months. I can not do this. I can not be back in this place, I can not be surrounded by all these people who have decided to create their own versions of what really happened that day. I can not do this. I can not bare these stares and glances. I can not.

“There you are” Said a familiar voice interrupting Anayas writing.

“Hi” Anaya whispered softly, shutting her diary and putting it back in the confines of her hand bag.

 “How are you?” Mubah smiled playfully as she inched  towards the bench Anaya had found asylum upon. 

"Ive been better" Anaya stuttered, shocked at Mubahs attitude, the very person who outwardly had blamed Anaya for Ali's death.

“I think you have been alone for far too long. You need a friend.” Mubah replied calmly, trying to capture Anaya in an embrace.

"I.." Anaya stared at the girl sitting next to us in confusion, trying to make sense of her sudden change in heart.

"Come on. Lets go to the cafe" Mubah smiled cheerfully and grabbed Anayas arm, pulling her up.

"Mubah.." Anaya began as she stood facing her with uncertainty.

"Oh come on, theres plenty of time left to figure it all out. Lets enjoy our first day back" Mubah smiled as she began walking hand in hand with Anaya.

Anaya could feel heads turning to stare at her as she made her way to the crowded Cafe with Mubah leading the way but her heart was now filled with a new hope that maybe her friends had understood that perhaps there was another side to the story.

"I have got a surprise for you. Come on close your eyes." Mubah smiled through her bright red lips as they neared the cafe.

Anaya did as she was told and let Mubah lead her into the Cafe and the moment she felt they had neared the door, her eyes instantly popped open as a bucket of ice old water was thrown on her. Anaya regained her eyesight long enough to see her old group of friends standing before her, laughing at her sight.

"What are you doing here?" Said one of them.

"Go to hell" Came another snide remark.

"We dont want you here." Snorted someone else.

Anaya stared up with heavy eyes at the reflections of the people she once used to know and the only thing she could think to do was run away from them all.

“Who is that girl” Saif asked his new classmate, Sami as they stood at the Cafe counter, witnessing the entire incident.

“That is a death wish” Sami scoffed as he looked up from his mayo fries to see Anaya running away.

“What do you mean?” Saif questioned, still looking at Anaya from the café counter.

“Look, youre new here. Don’t get involved. Shes not worth it.”

“I have to know her”

“You’ll end up dead”

“I don’t mind”

“She killed a guy this summer” Sami muttered, his mouth full of fries.

“What?” Saif asked, tearing his gaze away from Anaya.

“No one knows the whole story."

“Someone has got to know.”

“Yeah. Anaya. No one besides her.”

“What about her friends?” Saif sighed.

"What friends?" Sami laughed. "Come on, lets go."

"Are you serious?" Saif inquired.

"Nope." Sami laughed. "But you are so damn gullible."

“You go. I have to know this girl.” Saif replied rolling his eyes.

Saif picked up his bag of chips from the counter and made his way towards the University back lawn, where he had seen Anaya run off to.