Do we stop?

You never really stop loving someone, either you never did or always will.

You hear that your first love is going to be special. You hear that it is going to change you in ways that you can not even begin to imagine. You listen to songs, read books, watch movies or shows and you develop this belief that no matter who you love, you never really forget your first love.

I used to think this was true so I never let myself fall in love. I have always had this fear of goodbyes and to find someone to love and then having to say goodbye to them seems like the most unimaginable think in the world. How do you live without the person who taught you how to love another soul in ways that you could not even think of? How do you live without the person who planted the very seed in your heart that allowed love to grow? How do you even imagine forgetting your first love?

Sometimes, the first person you love and are loved by will break your heart and leave you shattered in to a million, tiny pieces of what you once used to be. Sometimes, this person is going to destroy you and snatch away every single thing that makes you who you are. That is the risk of loving someone, you give them the ability to break you down but trust them not to. Have you ever seen someone hung up on the very person who destroyed them? Have you ever wondered why on earth they may love someone who wronged them so badly? That's what first loves are. You are made to believe that you will never love another person and so you should hold on to your first love.

I used to think that was true. I used to think you only fall in love once and once should be enough. That there is no do overs or second chances, your first love is the last person you love. I used to think this was true, I was wrong.

The first person may have planted the seed in your heart but that person stomped on you and left you without the ability to grow again. That person took away all the trust you harbored and left you afraid of blossoming in to a beautiful flower. Then another person comes along and showers you with love and understanding that makes you want to trust someone again. That other person teaches you and makes you want to grow again.

With your first love, you don't know what love is. You just know that this feeling, you've never felt before. With your second love, you know what love is and you know what it feels like to love and be loved and you are so much more cautious. You are no longer this innocent, raw, seed with no idea about how things work out. The second time around, you know so much more.

Your first love is important but your second love, that is the person who is so much more than mere words could ever say.

Your first love teaches you how to be in love.

Your second love teaches you how to trust again, how to believe in another soul again and who fixes all the broken pieces inside of you that you couldn't fix on your own.

Its calming to believe that love never ends. Its also terrifying to believe that you never stop loving someone but in ways, you do. That person stops being so important. The love begins to fade and when that love begins to fade, its not you betraying your feelings for that person, it just means that you are moving on. Love doesn't end but it does fade. Sometimes, it fades for the better.