How To : Forgive

How To : Forgive

"Correct and courteous words accompanied by forgiveness are better than charity followed by insulting words." - The Qur'an 2:263

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." - Lewis B. Smedes

"The hatred you're carrying is a live coal in your heart - far more damaging to yourself than to them." Lawana Blackwell

1. The first and most important thing to help you forgive is to consider the following:
Everyday people die bomb blasts, shootings, people are murdered and raped, there are acts of violence and in most countries, there is no guarantee that if you leave your house, you will come back alive. Its hard to consider this in anger but once you have a rational mind, think of this; What would you do if the person you were angry with died without being forgiven? What would you do if your anger was temporary and all the time you wasted being angry could never be made up for? Or consider another situation where YOU died angry, what would the person go through who you were mad at? That person would never get his/her peace of mind? You would've left that person in a critical state of mind. Now consider if your anger is worth that.

2. You have to understand that if you forgive someone you are not doing it for them, you are doing it for yourself. Holding grudges and being mad at someone takes FAR TOO MUCH energy. You might be causing yourself more harm than them.

3. If someone wronged you, do not give them the satisfaction of spending time harboring feelings for them. If you do not forgive someone, you are still thinking about them and you still have feelings for them. If someone hurt you, forgive them because the best payback is you having a happy life. How can you be happy if you constantly think about that which hurt you?

4. If someone hurt you, accept it. Do not stay in disbelief or wonder how they could do something like that to you. You must accept that what is done is done.

5. Work it out. No matter how much you do not want to, work it out if the person is important to you. When someone matters to you, forget your ego and pride and just go talk to them. If you want answers, do not assume things for yourself, you must ask them. Be willing to move past this for the sake of having that person in your life.

6. This next tip depends on your belief in God. Just think, God can forgive your biggest mistakes then who are you to hold on to a mistake of Gods creation? If you want God to forgive you, you must forgive a fellow man.