I'll take the blame

"It's me." I whisper as I claw through my skin.

"It's me!" I scream as the tears flow.

Whenever I blamed myself, there was a voice telling me that I was wrong to do so. There was a voice of reason that consoled me and told me that I wasn't entirely to blame. There was a voice that made me feel like everything was going to be okay. Now, this isn't the first time I've lied awake at night in a puddle of my own tears. This isn't the first time I've beaten myself up for the consequences of someone else's actions. Though, it is the first time that every thing inside of me ached in silent agreement. It is the first time that there is no fight coming from inside of me. It is the first time that I've accepted that I'm the villian of this story.

And do you know how that feels? Do you know how it feels to realize that it doesn't matter how good your intentions are because in the end, it will all go in vain? Do you know how it feels to realize that no matter how hard you try to protect the ones you love, you will only end up hurting them? Do you know how much it aches to be the hero and realize you never will be?

Do you know how it feels to want to hold on to the people you love but realize they are better off without you?